So,
I worried that promoting my book was going to be boring for everyone who had to see it, but I didn’t realize how boring it could get for me. I don’t mean the events or the talking about it—any time I get to go out into the world and make real connection with another reader or writer reminds me of why I wrote it in the first place. But there’s an unspoken-yet-strongly-hinted-at expectation that I sit by my phone, on high alert for every single mention of the book online, which I should then push out on my “platforms.” I’ve figured out an approach that works for me, although it might not work for the little mice on wheels who run the internet: If I see a post, and it touches something in me (a lot do!), I share the reason why. Everyone else, I try to thank. That’s a level of attention that feels right, and manageable.
I mostly enjoy being on the internet, but the airtime I’ve had to give my own book gets in the way of what I actually want to do there, which is talking about everyone else’s books, or asking for help finding a yoga studio, or sharing a nice snack. While I have a certain comfort level with sales mode, because I am a former agent, even I can’t sustain it forever. I’m doing an exciting last handful of dates this week (NOLA tomorrow, MS Book Festival this weekend) and then relieved to getting back to my chair, pouring myself an iced tea, and shutting out the rest of the world to dig into this next book.
It’s been an enormous gift to have the support of any kind of audience, and to be able to communicate with the tiny online community that I do. I appreciate every person who’s found me and my work online or at appearances this year. The legwork was absolutely worth it. But I also know I do my best work when I recede, to keep out the “shoulds” and the demands of the marketplace and what people might want from me.
I think always of the time many years ago when the comedian John Early referred to my friends (and former business partners) Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci as having “Front Porch Energy,” which crystallized something for me. Through their first short films in college, their improv performances, Our digital show Ghost Ghirls—which Jack Black called “the best show no one’s ever seen”— the many pilots we’ve sold together, and their podcast, The Big Ones, the message has been consistent: We’ll be over here doing our thing, they convey. You’re welcome to join. I have always admired and enjoyed Amanda and Maria because no audience could possibly influence the things they create — one recent stretch of their comedy/ethics podcast was about stone fruit— and no audience should, though theirs is steadfast.
For this book, I have notebooks full of details about people I’ve met and want to write about, and they’re all united by a pure love of craft. There’s my new friend Jake Taylor, who left a promising career as a chef at London’s St. John to start a food stall at Borough Market, then left Borough Market to rehaul the lunch program at an underserved primary school in Lambeth. The day I visited him there, I sat next to a group of girls—sassy little gals of immigrant extraction, like me—who side-eyed me as they sat down with heavy plates of curried lamb, eventually gathering the courage to ask if I was the new maths teacher (I wasn’t).
There’s @mamacares9000, a working mom in Chicago whose entire body of online work is simply listing things that only I (OK and tens of thousands of other women) care about, while her family stares at her, horrifed. I will never stop laughing at “They fixed my nemesis, pothole!” There’s the best standup I’ve ever seen in my entire comedy-seeking life, Marc Silcox (not his real name). Affable Indian science teacher by day, Andy Kaufman-level standup by evening. Once, after a set, I asked if his wife or daughters ever come to see him perform and he laughed, a proper Indian uncle chuckle and said no. I asked why, and he said “because this is ridiculous.”
There are so many more. Every single one of the people in my notebook exude Front Porch Energy. Whether or not they’re being watched, they simply cannot help being themselves. And I can’t wait to share their stories.
xoxo
Announcements: Are you in LA? Do you want to have fun? Last chance to spend $20 to support real art by real artists at THE MULTITUDE Variety Show at the Elysian!
Recs: My actual skin secret, the aforementioned iced tea (a million people recommended it to me online and they were correct!), and this natural spray, the only one that keeps mosquitoes from eating me alive.
Food: I just ordered this guy and I think it might change my life. Also, it’s been so hot I can only eat cold foods, so here’s a quickie hatch green chile chicken salad: shred whatever’s left of a roast/rotisserie chicken (4-6 cups?), add lots of mayo, a dollop of sour cream, 3/4 cup corn kernels (I used thawed frozen for time, but farmers market would be nice!), a can of green chiles, ground cumin, a tiny bit of yellow mustard, and salt and pepper to taste. I realize how Pioneer Woman this sounds. But trust me.
❤️honored to be included and now i’ll think of FPE often!
My entire childhood would have been different if we had that crank! So many outfits saved! These kids don't know how good they have it.