Action Items

How to (Actually) Help in a Crisis

Keith Francis, Crisis (2016)

In my extensive experience observing Americans, many who have led relatively uncomplicated lives have very sweet, generous hearts. They also have giant feelings about things, and zero ability to convert these feelings into action items. The internet right now is a mess of “helpful” hints and links and freakouts and tears, from people who aren’t actually in crisis. And the 24/7 news is not helping.

First, do not point your hysteria and helplessness at anyone else in LA. Chill out before you send a text or share a post. Know when you send a check-in to someone suffering, they are getting 98 of those texts a day and feel obligated to reply and soothe your anxiety, while actually trying to get through the day themselves. It’s not their job to help you feel better, or send constant updates. Feeling better is your job. Have you downloaded the effing app yet? Next, be aware that there are a few tiers of distress:

• For people who have lost everything: send cash, or ask the people around them what they need. They can’t respond to your texts right now, and your questions are too big.

• For people who have lost nothing, and are feeling guilty and weird and also still a little nervous about it (me, etc.): nothing. Stop texting us unless it’s loving, or cheerful. Babies, pets, memes, gossip. No news. Stop posting through your anxiety. Calm yourself down first, we can’t handle your nerves in addition to ours.

• People who are in a weird holding pattern while they wait to see if their houses are about to burn down: Just tell them you love them, and this will be over soon. Maybe send food from their favorite restaurant. Or books or activities, because each day this week feels like a year. Don’t ask, just send.

If you feel overwhelmed, here’s your daily schedule for the next little while, do ONE a day. Then go about your normal lives. You’re not useful to anyone if you’re drained.

• Displaced Black Families - many of these are still underfunded.

• Fundraisers at less than 20% of their goal, via

  5PM LUCKY

• Help artist and art workers start over. And more links to support artists HERE.

• Donate to this Essential Worker Fund

• Domestic Workers Fund, from the NDWA.

• Khushbu Shah
  just wrote about how restaurants are doing so much frontline caretaking right now, all with their own reserves (ha). Send them money via her links HERE so they can stay alive and keep others afloat. The food community is one of my favorite things about this city—the kindest, most fun, most generous people you’ll ever meet.

• Focus on a family or two you know and address their specific needs (ask their friends/family, not them)—does a kid miss his legos, or someone need help turning their utilities off (yes, they still have to do this)? You can’t help every single person. But if we each help a handful, it adds up.

• If you have friends who have lost their homes, make a care package with some frivolous gifts in it: nice hand creams, fluffy socks, cozy PJs, lottery tickets (my go-to), unusual snacks, whatever. Everyone is focused on basic needs and I believe a glimmer of something extra—and a reminder that life won’t always be emergency undies and donated toothbrushes—will go a long way.

• Familiarize yourself with our layout. Do it for me, specifically.

You’ll notice that this list is mostly about sending money. I say this with so much appreciation for the instinct to give: LA doesn’t need random old stuff. People on the ground here are collecting piles and piles of specific stuff, and making requests as needed. The city will get through this, but please take a breath before acting, and put your money and energy where people are actually asking for it.

I myself am perfectly, 100% fine. I will ask for what I need, and reject all incoming offers of help and gifts with the fury of a thousand krakens. But I’ll take all the baby photos and juicy gossip you got.

xo

p.s. about the artist (above), Keith Francis