My Favorite Parenting Book
(and the only one I've ever kept)
As a new parent, almost 13 years ago now, I read every single parenting book out there—every one! Not a stone unturned!—thinking that one of them would be the operating manual that would allow me to figure it all out. I had been a great student, and I “knew” that if I just read the right series of texts, retained the relevant information, and was able to apply it in the moment, I’d master the kid thing. Instead, the tidal wave of information, the series of specific instructions, and all the warnings left me anxious and irritable, with the creeping idea that it should all be much easier. My parents, who raised us well without overthinking the process, were relieved when I finally put the books down.
As the kids got older and I relaxed into being a more seasoned parent, I understood that I’d be writing my own operating instructions, and my understanding would deepen by paying attention to the children I actually have, not the case studies found in most books. I learned that raising kids was so much more about modeling values and behavior than finding the exact right words. That if I made our expectations clear, they would strive to meet them (eventually). I deleted all of the parenting experts I was following online, rejected all unnecessary stress, and fell into something that resembles my parents’ far more enjoyable experience.
But I recently, in the middle of some research for a new book idea, I read one that I’ve been pressing into everyone’s hands.
