Nothing Scares Me Like
The one thing I can't talk about
When I see teenagers out and about, I cross the street. I won’t watch teen movies, I won’t watch teen shows. The under-baked yearnings of teen pop stars leave me cold. Merely glimpsing a teen causes me to turn away and shut down completely. Pictures of teenagers in the 80s? Get them out of my sight. The revulsion is so strong, so sudden and overwhelming, that it’s one of the few things in the world, and definitely my life, that I find it difficult to investigate, let alone discuss out loud.
I carefully frosted around this for the memoir, but there’s not much about my teen years in there. I mention a rift between me and my parents. I mention upset and anger, but even I am aware that this is where my voice detaches. While other parts of my life — the toddler, the war baby, the new mom, are fully embodied, and I can slip into and out of experiencing those moments when reading about them, I recall teen me from a safe distance, and my discomfort with e…
